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The National Council of Churches comes to Cuba’s Aid
Dr. Fidel Castro, an authority on all the religions of the world once had a problem. Yes, it is hard to believe. Dr. Castro was one day so busy during his usual 20 hour work day – curing disease, helping children learn to read, and fighting the white male controlled mafia in Miami that he had no time for the religious upbringing of his grateful Cuban subjects. So in his all knowing and benevolent nature, Dr. Castro enlisted the pastoral aid of the world famous National Council of Churches to minister to the faith hungry children of Cuba. You see, before Dr. Castro liberated the island from the control of the fascist plantation owners the island was ruled with an iron hand by a cabal of reactionary Roman Catholic and Papist clerics from Spain. So terrible was the Roman Catholic dominion over the poor people of old Cuba that when the Spanish Inquisition visibly ended all around the world it still continued full force in white ruled Cuba. Volumes can be filled of unspeakable tables of horror and religious violence starting from 1500 to 1959 when untold numbers of indigenous tribes, Africans, women accused of witchcraft, homosexuals, Jews, socialists, and Protestants were tortured or burned at the steak! Also the white male controlled Catholic church in Cuba owned most of the brothels, dog fight dens, and controlled the white slave trade coming into the island. This of course changed when Dr. Castro came to be elected as a benevolent uncle figure by the Cuban people. As soon as Dr. Castro and his comrades came down from the mountains to liberate the poor masses he quickly established full and universal freedom of religion for all. Soon Cuba was turned into a house of real worship as millions pitched in to honor Dr. Castro with massive candle light vigils giving thanks to the immense amount of social gifts that his administration showered on the people. One of the first acts of the young Dr. Castro was to round up all the evil priests, monks, nuns, and prostitutes and put them on a ship bound for Miami. Now Cubans were free to practice religion there way and the natural deities of the Africa and the Indians came out of hiding. The National Council of Churches was soon put to holy work by Dr. Castro because the National Council of Churches wanted and wants the Cubans to grow in understanding of each other's traditions. The NCC in Cuba worked and works to identify and fully claim those areas of belief Cubans hold in common; the NCC celebrates the diverse and unique gifts that each Cuban church brings to ecumenical life. The NCC in Cuba believes that genuine unity demands inclusively and a respect for diversity, something the evil male oriented white plantation lords did not allow for. In Cuba with the help of Dr. Castro, the NCC promotes harmonious relations among Santeros, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, practitioners of traditional Native American religion and many other faith groups in a society that is increasingly multireligious. So beneficial and good is the NCC of churches work in Cuba that in the great spirit of ecumenical unity the NCC recently helped the San Francisco coven of Anton LeVay’s famous and groundbreaking Church of Satan establish the first Luciferian coven in the city of Havana! A sad event in Cuban religious history happened when a group of Havana Satanist wanted to establish a church to their god Beelzebub in 1950. Upon hearing that the peaceful Satanist were to establish houses of worship members of the aristo and all white Havana Yatch club along with their confederates, the Cuban KKK decided to pay a midnight visit in what has become the worst anti religious pogrom in the history of Havana. The Reverend Doctor Saul Goldberg a noted Los Angeles Unitarian Universalist Satanist warlock and a National Council of Churches ecumenical youth minister, and author of the groundbreaking book, “Social Justice and Cuban Children” and “Satanism for Kids” and “Satan 101” has described the event thusly:
“Survivors, and there were not many, of this horrid event tell of a midnight kristalnach as 500 white hooded figures on horseback rode into the courtyard of Havana’s first Satanist church. The army of aristos and Cuban KKK brandished torches as they rode in and yelled obscenities and rebel yells in Spanish! Soon the whole church was on fire and as the innocent Satanist fled for their lives the hooded horsemen began to shoot Thompson machine guns while on horseback into the crowd mowing down hundreds of innocent Cuban Satanists. After this the hooded aristos began to throw hand grenades into the building causing even more death and destruction as innocent Satanists blew up to pieces. The aristos then torched the whole place, and the flames and stench of burning human flesh could be smelt all over Havana. To celebrate the carnage the aristos crucified some more Satanist and then in a celebratory fashion proceeded to kneel and pray Roman Catholic prayers as other hooded aristos set the crucified Satanists on fire. Then all the aristos got into formation did a Hitler salute and sang Germanic military songs…'The following morning the Satanists who were not dead were rounded up and put in chains were marched to the Malecon where they were made to stand atop the embankment. They were then shot by the then drunk aristos – all 100 remaining members of Cuba’s first Satanist church – and they fell into the water…'soon the sharks came close to the coast and devoured the hapless Satanists.”
Now because of the NCC and Dr. Castro’s wish to see true ecumenical unity in once divided Cuba, Satanists and occultist of all stripes can worship their deities in pure safety and understanding in a progressive nation such as Dr. Castro’s Cuba that constitutionally allows freedom of religion for all! In the spirit of true brother and sisterhood the ecumenical sharing is evident as Santeros and Satanists have incorporated together to create a joint farm were animals such as goats and chickens can be equally harvested for the sacrificial nature of both religions. The NCC and the Center for Cuban Studies contributed towards the building of the organic and free range farm for sacrificial animals. When asked what he thought of the NCC helping to establish the first Satanic Church in Cuba, the Reverend Dr. General Secretary of the NCC Bob Edgar answered, “Look, Satanism might not be my tradition, but the NCC is dedicated towards ecumenical unity OK, and I can assure you that in Dr. Castro’s mansion, there are many rooms, I speak symbolically of course, as we all know Dr. Castro owns no mansions, but lets get back to the point OK, besides I think that in the end, when the fat lady sings, all roads will lead into one and everything regardless of creed get sorted out.”
Even with the sexual needs of Cubans has the NCC done its holy work. In 2003 former NCC leader the Reverend Doctor Joan Brown Campbell along with Elenie K. Huszagh, Esq, former past president of the NCC, a contingent of NCC women, and notable social justice luminaries such as Maya Angelou, Maxine Waters, Angela Davis, Jane Fonda, Sandra Levinson, Bonnie Raitt, Leslie Kagen, Medea Benjamin, and others held the first annual Cuban women’s circle of sisterhood and orgasmic energy. This event was groundbreaking in Cuba because the NCC allowed Cuban women to join as sisters and experience the orgasmic energy that a B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) or as Rev. Joan Brown Campbell jokingly refers to the Cuban version, Battery Operated Paco, or BOP for short can give! This fun filled event held at the Tropicana Night Club and co sponsored by the Cuban Women’s International Friendship Union used Dr. Betty Dodson’s groundbreaking masturbatory technique of having a group of women lie in a circle and first explore their genitalia with mirrors and flashlights and then while still in circle formation use gigantic vibrating massagers to make everyone end in a mind shattering orgasmic explosion! The Reverend Doctor Joan Brown Campbell described the event this way:
“It was the first time Cuban wymin came together and I mean came together so pardon the pun. It was an exploration of all different types of bodies, fat and skinny and sisterhood with our brown skin hermanas in the spirit of the Great Mother and in the name of Gaia and the spirit of all mighty Christa and Mary Magdalene we all became sacred whores with the power of Tantra as our feminine essence wafted up from our honey pots creating the scent of heavenly female power. Our sister Angela Davis even provided conga Afrikan drumming as all the women came to an explosive orgasm - the first ever felt in Cuba with the grace of our host Dr. Fidel Castro, amen!”
Dr. Campbell also pointed out that in old Cuba women were not allowed to have any sexual pleasure and that orgasms were punishable by death by a special task force created by Cuban male aristos and the Cuban Catholic Church.
For the men of Cuba the NCC has done wonders in the field of sexuality. Before the revolution old Cuba was the most macho and chauvinistic nation in the world. It was with the help of the NCC that Dr. Fidel Castro, a kind and sensitive human being, along with his brother, subcomandnte Raul Castro were able to make Cuban men more sensitive and less ashamed of their feminine sides. To celebrate the new man of the Cuban revolution the NCC, and its fearless leader the Reverend Dr. General Secretary of the NCC, Bob Edgar along the Rev. Lucius (mandingo) Walker and with notable human rights luminaries as Siegfried and Roy, Harry Belafonte, Saul Landau, Boy George, Danny Glover, Kasey Kasum, Randal Robinson, and Kris Kristofersson, led the first ever male sensitivity training retreat on the beach at Varadero. This event was groundbreaking even for NCC standards as it took all segments of Cuban males and exposed them to male to male full body massages, sweat lodges, chanting and drumming of native American songs, and the first time in Cuba and massive circle jerk to break the ice and loosen up the usually uptight Cuban males around other nude males. Dr. General Secretary of the NCC, Bob Edgar said the following of the event:
“Lookit, it was a great event OK, we men got to be men with each other and it sort of reminded me of the all male symposiums we have at Riverside Church when we invite our healthy Nigerian and Jamaican male brethren to come and spend a weekend with us in brotherhood and prayer, especially the ecumenical hot oil Sufi Turkish wrestling, and the all nude Esalen massage workshop after an arduous day of holy worship OK. Afterwards in the spirit of male Christian brotherhood we would don the fabulous leather chaps and captains hats donated by the reverend Bruce of the Episcopal NCC branch in San Francisco and we would head out to Christopher street in the Village for some holy R&R and conversions of our brothers in need. OK. We did the same in Cuba with our brown skinned Cubano hermanos and we learned some new phrases like puto, pinga, leche, cabron, pongate en las cuatro mi chulo kulo, from Paco and Julio our Cuban seminary students, or Jineteros as they called themselves. It was a super time that was had by all, and some creative uses were invented with the olive oil and the American medicinal supplies donated by Pastors for Peace!”
Dr. Fidel Castro, an authority on all the religions of the world once had a problem. Yes, it is hard to believe. Dr. Castro was one day so busy during his usual 20 hour work day – curing disease, helping children learn to read, and fighting the white male controlled mafia in Miami that he had no time for the religious upbringing of his grateful Cuban subjects. So in his all knowing and benevolent nature, Dr. Castro enlisted the pastoral aid of the world famous National Council of Churches to minister to the faith hungry children of Cuba. You see, before Dr. Castro liberated the island from the control of the fascist plantation owners the island was ruled with an iron hand by a cabal of reactionary Roman Catholic and Papist clerics from Spain. So terrible was the Roman Catholic dominion over the poor people of old Cuba that when the Spanish Inquisition visibly ended all around the world it still continued full force in white ruled Cuba. Volumes can be filled of unspeakable tables of horror and religious violence starting from 1500 to 1959 when untold numbers of indigenous tribes, Africans, women accused of witchcraft, homosexuals, Jews, socialists, and Protestants were tortured or burned at the steak! Also the white male controlled Catholic church in Cuba owned most of the brothels, dog fight dens, and controlled the white slave trade coming into the island. This of course changed when Dr. Castro came to be elected as a benevolent uncle figure by the Cuban people. As soon as Dr. Castro and his comrades came down from the mountains to liberate the poor masses he quickly established full and universal freedom of religion for all. Soon Cuba was turned into a house of real worship as millions pitched in to honor Dr. Castro with massive candle light vigils giving thanks to the immense amount of social gifts that his administration showered on the people. One of the first acts of the young Dr. Castro was to round up all the evil priests, monks, nuns, and prostitutes and put them on a ship bound for Miami. Now Cubans were free to practice religion there way and the natural deities of the Africa and the Indians came out of hiding. The National Council of Churches was soon put to holy work by Dr. Castro because the National Council of Churches wanted and wants the Cubans to grow in understanding of each other's traditions. The NCC in Cuba worked and works to identify and fully claim those areas of belief Cubans hold in common; the NCC celebrates the diverse and unique gifts that each Cuban church brings to ecumenical life. The NCC in Cuba believes that genuine unity demands inclusively and a respect for diversity, something the evil male oriented white plantation lords did not allow for. In Cuba with the help of Dr. Castro, the NCC promotes harmonious relations among Santeros, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, practitioners of traditional Native American religion and many other faith groups in a society that is increasingly multireligious. So beneficial and good is the NCC of churches work in Cuba that in the great spirit of ecumenical unity the NCC recently helped the San Francisco coven of Anton LeVay’s famous and groundbreaking Church of Satan establish the first Luciferian coven in the city of Havana! A sad event in Cuban religious history happened when a group of Havana Satanist wanted to establish a church to their god Beelzebub in 1950. Upon hearing that the peaceful Satanist were to establish houses of worship members of the aristo and all white Havana Yatch club along with their confederates, the Cuban KKK decided to pay a midnight visit in what has become the worst anti religious pogrom in the history of Havana. The Reverend Doctor Saul Goldberg a noted Los Angeles Unitarian Universalist Satanist warlock and a National Council of Churches ecumenical youth minister, and author of the groundbreaking book, “Social Justice and Cuban Children” and “Satanism for Kids” and “Satan 101” has described the event thusly:
“Survivors, and there were not many, of this horrid event tell of a midnight kristalnach as 500 white hooded figures on horseback rode into the courtyard of Havana’s first Satanist church. The army of aristos and Cuban KKK brandished torches as they rode in and yelled obscenities and rebel yells in Spanish! Soon the whole church was on fire and as the innocent Satanist fled for their lives the hooded horsemen began to shoot Thompson machine guns while on horseback into the crowd mowing down hundreds of innocent Cuban Satanists. After this the hooded aristos began to throw hand grenades into the building causing even more death and destruction as innocent Satanists blew up to pieces. The aristos then torched the whole place, and the flames and stench of burning human flesh could be smelt all over Havana. To celebrate the carnage the aristos crucified some more Satanist and then in a celebratory fashion proceeded to kneel and pray Roman Catholic prayers as other hooded aristos set the crucified Satanists on fire. Then all the aristos got into formation did a Hitler salute and sang Germanic military songs…'The following morning the Satanists who were not dead were rounded up and put in chains were marched to the Malecon where they were made to stand atop the embankment. They were then shot by the then drunk aristos – all 100 remaining members of Cuba’s first Satanist church – and they fell into the water…'soon the sharks came close to the coast and devoured the hapless Satanists.”
Now because of the NCC and Dr. Castro’s wish to see true ecumenical unity in once divided Cuba, Satanists and occultist of all stripes can worship their deities in pure safety and understanding in a progressive nation such as Dr. Castro’s Cuba that constitutionally allows freedom of religion for all! In the spirit of true brother and sisterhood the ecumenical sharing is evident as Santeros and Satanists have incorporated together to create a joint farm were animals such as goats and chickens can be equally harvested for the sacrificial nature of both religions. The NCC and the Center for Cuban Studies contributed towards the building of the organic and free range farm for sacrificial animals. When asked what he thought of the NCC helping to establish the first Satanic Church in Cuba, the Reverend Dr. General Secretary of the NCC Bob Edgar answered, “Look, Satanism might not be my tradition, but the NCC is dedicated towards ecumenical unity OK, and I can assure you that in Dr. Castro’s mansion, there are many rooms, I speak symbolically of course, as we all know Dr. Castro owns no mansions, but lets get back to the point OK, besides I think that in the end, when the fat lady sings, all roads will lead into one and everything regardless of creed get sorted out.”
Even with the sexual needs of Cubans has the NCC done its holy work. In 2003 former NCC leader the Reverend Doctor Joan Brown Campbell along with Elenie K. Huszagh, Esq, former past president of the NCC, a contingent of NCC women, and notable social justice luminaries such as Maya Angelou, Maxine Waters, Angela Davis, Jane Fonda, Sandra Levinson, Bonnie Raitt, Leslie Kagen, Medea Benjamin, and others held the first annual Cuban women’s circle of sisterhood and orgasmic energy. This event was groundbreaking in Cuba because the NCC allowed Cuban women to join as sisters and experience the orgasmic energy that a B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) or as Rev. Joan Brown Campbell jokingly refers to the Cuban version, Battery Operated Paco, or BOP for short can give! This fun filled event held at the Tropicana Night Club and co sponsored by the Cuban Women’s International Friendship Union used Dr. Betty Dodson’s groundbreaking masturbatory technique of having a group of women lie in a circle and first explore their genitalia with mirrors and flashlights and then while still in circle formation use gigantic vibrating massagers to make everyone end in a mind shattering orgasmic explosion! The Reverend Doctor Joan Brown Campbell described the event this way:
“It was the first time Cuban wymin came together and I mean came together so pardon the pun. It was an exploration of all different types of bodies, fat and skinny and sisterhood with our brown skin hermanas in the spirit of the Great Mother and in the name of Gaia and the spirit of all mighty Christa and Mary Magdalene we all became sacred whores with the power of Tantra as our feminine essence wafted up from our honey pots creating the scent of heavenly female power. Our sister Angela Davis even provided conga Afrikan drumming as all the women came to an explosive orgasm - the first ever felt in Cuba with the grace of our host Dr. Fidel Castro, amen!”
Dr. Campbell also pointed out that in old Cuba women were not allowed to have any sexual pleasure and that orgasms were punishable by death by a special task force created by Cuban male aristos and the Cuban Catholic Church.
For the men of Cuba the NCC has done wonders in the field of sexuality. Before the revolution old Cuba was the most macho and chauvinistic nation in the world. It was with the help of the NCC that Dr. Fidel Castro, a kind and sensitive human being, along with his brother, subcomandnte Raul Castro were able to make Cuban men more sensitive and less ashamed of their feminine sides. To celebrate the new man of the Cuban revolution the NCC, and its fearless leader the Reverend Dr. General Secretary of the NCC, Bob Edgar along the Rev. Lucius (mandingo) Walker and with notable human rights luminaries as Siegfried and Roy, Harry Belafonte, Saul Landau, Boy George, Danny Glover, Kasey Kasum, Randal Robinson, and Kris Kristofersson, led the first ever male sensitivity training retreat on the beach at Varadero. This event was groundbreaking even for NCC standards as it took all segments of Cuban males and exposed them to male to male full body massages, sweat lodges, chanting and drumming of native American songs, and the first time in Cuba and massive circle jerk to break the ice and loosen up the usually uptight Cuban males around other nude males. Dr. General Secretary of the NCC, Bob Edgar said the following of the event:
“Lookit, it was a great event OK, we men got to be men with each other and it sort of reminded me of the all male symposiums we have at Riverside Church when we invite our healthy Nigerian and Jamaican male brethren to come and spend a weekend with us in brotherhood and prayer, especially the ecumenical hot oil Sufi Turkish wrestling, and the all nude Esalen massage workshop after an arduous day of holy worship OK. Afterwards in the spirit of male Christian brotherhood we would don the fabulous leather chaps and captains hats donated by the reverend Bruce of the Episcopal NCC branch in San Francisco and we would head out to Christopher street in the Village for some holy R&R and conversions of our brothers in need. OK. We did the same in Cuba with our brown skinned Cubano hermanos and we learned some new phrases like puto, pinga, leche, cabron, pongate en las cuatro mi chulo kulo, from Paco and Julio our Cuban seminary students, or Jineteros as they called themselves. It was a super time that was had by all, and some creative uses were invented with the olive oil and the American medicinal supplies donated by Pastors for Peace!”
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